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Reworded for accuracy
The propaganda we publish will decide the most important election in a generation. Funded by companies with business interests in us changing the law to suit their needs along with plonkers like you, VOTER.
We’ll probably give a peerage to those who donate the most, as the above picture demonstrates. You have the chance to earn £300 per day just like disgraced Lord Hanningfield.
So ignore the police investigation into our party. Ignore the United Nations Inquiry into us mistreating sick and disabled people. Ignore the fact that our policies have contributed to the deaths of Nick Barker, Robert Barlow, Cecilia Burns, Chris Cann, Leanne Chambers, David Clapson, David Groves, Stephen Hill, Edward Jacques, Brian McArdle, Mark Mullins, Helen Mullins, Tim Salter, Mark Scott, Karen Sherlock, Elenore Tatton, Colin Traynor, Mark Wood and Linda Wootton (feel free to Google their names). Just give us your money and let us continue.
Grant Shapps aka Michael Green, Sebastian Fox
Conservative Party Chairman
Grant Shapps or whatever name he wants to use is no stranger to controversy as you would expect.